Before I get into my post, I want to nail down the fact that I would never push divorce on anyone. This post is about divorce and the highlights of it (if you can call them that) but in no way do I want this post seen as a pro-divorce statement. As a relationship coach, I am here to help you whether you're saving your marriage or contemplating divorce, in the middle of it or out the other end. I am here to support you 100% in the good and the bad. This is a big life choice and one that shouldn't be taken lightly.
I don't often get surprised anymore by what comes out of peoples' mouths. I love a quirky sense of humor, bad sarcasm, and ridiculously laugh about the silliest things (even 30 minutes after the fact). When I heard 'congratulations on your divorce' not once but twice in one week, my eyes were open. This wasn't said with humor, sarcasm, or in any way a laughing matter. Both times it was said with honest, feel good energy and from people whom I don't even socialize with. The flip view of one of life's most devastating events got me thinking...
Society teaches us to congratulate those on a job well done, at their wedding, getting into university, and climbing up the career ladder. Never have I heard it in relation to something that shatters most. I went away both times feeling amazing. Odd, yes. It wasn't the usual 'sorry to hear that' I would have expected and it was so refreshing!
Staying in a marriage that doesn't fill your boots, allow for expansion, and to grow as a person won't do anyone any good. Morphing out of the mold and into a new, vibrantly confident person...congratulations! Choosing yourself and recognizing your self worth...congratulations! Allowing possible children of the marriage to see a powerful person rise up and understand that they shouldn't stay in unhealthy relationships...congratulations! Proving to yourself that you can do it; you can be the best version of yourself and support your own dreams...congratulations!
Everyone in every relationship deserves to live the most fulfilling life as themselves first and then share that with their partner. When this doesn't happen and sadness, disconnection, and resentment set in, congratulations for cutting that tie.
There are many that come out the other side of divorce a total wreck and to those people, I still think congratulations are in order. Painful as the process is, you're growing as a person. Staying in a marriage for the kids, financial security, comfort, lack of self-worth...what ever the reason is, getting out and having a chance to be the best version of you...congratulations! Escaping an abusive, un-loving and zero connection relationship...congratulations! You have a wonderful opportunity to take one of life's most stressful events and turn it into something beautiful. Rediscover who YOU are, what YOUR interests are, and how YOU can rise up and find what you truly deserve in life whether it's a new job, reconnection with hobbies, new relationships, or travelling.
As Alana Stewart quoted 'I used to think that divorce meant failure, but now, I see it more as a step along the path to self-realization and growth' -
.
Comments